The other day I sat down and charted out my day to include almost every last detail from dragging myself to the coffeemaker first thing in the morning, all the way to my bedtime. The goal of making this schedule was to think through and jot down a routine that we can stick to day-in and day-out, that accounts for the entire day and allows me to really concentrate and practice law while enabling my wife to have the quality time with our son that she needs, loves, and deserves after she gets home from work.
My new schedule relies in part on my son maintaining the predictable naps he's been having and also on me being able to get most prep for our dinner ready to go midday so my wife can throw it together. I will work as much as I can during naps and then a couple of hours after my wife gets home. Then after having dinner, I clean up the kitchen while she takes care of the baby and then go back to work a couple more hours at night. If we can make this work, I can put in just about an 8 hour workday, everyday. It will also enable me to have at least a good portion of my weekend to devote to my marriage and family and is crucial, because these are the reasons for me working in the first place. Hence, for me to have time to get a practice going while still being able to focus on the important things in life, we need to adhere pretty tightly to this routine during the week, Monday through Friday.
The hardest part about this daily grind is going to be working while most others including my wife are not, in the late afternoons, evenings, nights, naptimes, and most likely some weekends. We have some friends where one spouse has worked these non-traditional hours and they have found a way to make it work. Perhaps we have been spoiled by not having dealt with this yet in our marriage (besides some late nights here and there at class and the library) but this kind of change will be a tough adjustment. My wife and I are blessed in that we really do love spending time with each other. In addition we really enjoy spending time getting to know others and so another difficult change that comes with setting hours will be to tell friends and family that "I have (Nate has) to work" when invited to go somewhere (not that my family couldn't go on their own) in those off hours or when we're invited to travel out of town, etc. This will be difficult not only because of turning down social opportunities but also because it feels like we're saying "I am choosing to work instead of hanging out and having fun with you." Who chooses to work instead of having a good time? No one.
One goal that goes hand-in-hand with this new routine will be shifting how my work is perceived by us, our friends and family, from being a choice to an obligation. If my practice during these varying times is seen as my employment, then missing events is unfortunate but understandable. If, however, missing gatherings/events is viewed as our personal choice, we are antisocial and there goes any future invitations and our relationships will be damaged. It will be so important for us to set a precedent for ourselves while also being clear with everyone else that we would love to, but maybe next time. That is, helping our family and friends to understand that not doing things Friday night, denying a mid-week dinner invitation, or staying close to home instead of taking off for the weekend is not our choice, but a commitment to my employer. People understand this mentality because no one has ever worked anywhere where it is cool to just not show up for work.
Of course, it becomes more complicated when you are self-employed because it is easier for others to believe that I(we) do have the choice to duck out on work. But do I? By deciding to start a law practice I made a commitment to myself and to my family, and to any of my clients. If I am able to lay a strong foundation for my business now, hopefully in time we will be able to get back to a more standard schedule while also being freed from having to check the bank account before we go grocery shopping or send in the rent check.
Flexibility will definitely be a benefit of having my own law practice but that perk will come with time. I need to sow some seeds before I can reap a harvest.
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