Sowing Seeds

     The other day I sat down and charted out my day to include almost every last detail  from dragging myself to the coffeemaker first thing in the morning, all the way to my bedtime.  The goal of making this schedule was to think through and jot down a routine that we can stick to day-in and day-out, that accounts for the entire day and allows me to really concentrate and practice law while enabling my wife to have the quality time with our son that she needs, loves, and deserves after she gets home from work.

     My new schedule relies in part on my son maintaining the predictable naps he's been having and also on me being able to get most prep for our dinner ready to go midday so my wife can throw it together.  I will work as much as I can during naps and then a couple of hours after my wife gets home.  Then after having dinner, I clean up the kitchen while she takes care of the baby and then go back to work a couple more hours at night.  If we can make this work, I can put in just about an 8 hour workday, everyday.  It will also enable me to have at least a good portion of my weekend to devote to my marriage and family and is crucial, because these are the reasons for me working in the first place.  Hence, for me to have time to get a practice going while still being able to focus on the important things in life, we need to adhere pretty tightly to this routine during the week, Monday through Friday.

     The hardest part about this daily grind is going to be working while most others including my wife are not, in the late afternoons, evenings, nights, naptimes, and most likely some weekends.  We have some friends where one spouse has worked these non-traditional hours and they have found a way to make it work.  Perhaps we have been spoiled by not having dealt with this yet in our marriage (besides some late nights here and there at class and the library) but this kind of change will be a tough adjustment.  My wife and I are blessed in that we really do love spending time with each other.  In addition we really enjoy spending time getting to know others and so another difficult change that comes with setting hours will be to tell friends and family that "I have (Nate has) to work" when invited to go somewhere (not that my family couldn't go on their own) in those off hours or when we're invited to travel out of town, etc.  This will be difficult not only because of turning down social opportunities but also because it feels like we're saying "I am choosing to work instead of hanging out and having fun with you."  Who chooses to work instead of having a good time?  No one.

     One goal that goes hand-in-hand with this new routine will be shifting how my work is perceived by us, our friends and family, from being a choice to an obligation. If my practice during these varying times is seen as my employment, then missing events is unfortunate but understandable.  If, however, missing gatherings/events is viewed as our personal choice, we are antisocial and there goes any future invitations and our relationships will be damaged.  It will be so important for us to set a precedent for ourselves while also being clear with everyone else that we would love to, but maybe next time.  That is, helping our family and friends to understand that not doing things Friday night, denying a mid-week dinner invitation, or staying close to home instead of taking off for the weekend is not our choice, but a commitment to my employer.  People understand this mentality because no one has ever worked anywhere where it is cool to just not show up for work.

     Of course, it becomes more complicated when you are self-employed because it is easier for others to believe that I(we) do have the choice to duck out on work.  But do I?  By deciding to start a law practice I made a commitment to myself and to my family, and to any of my clients.  If I am able to lay a strong foundation for my business now, hopefully in time we will be able to get back to a more standard schedule while also being freed from having to check the bank account before we go grocery shopping or send in the rent check.

     Flexibility will definitely be a benefit of having my own law practice but that perk will come with time.  I need to sow some seeds before I can reap a harvest.

   



 

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Being Trained

     If you have ever had or been around a baby or a young child you understand that there are some things you just don't mess with, especially the nap and sleep schedule. We have found that when we get off the schedule, none of us are happy. Of course, there are different theories on how to approach a baby’s routine including not really having one at all and going with the flow to get done whatever the parent needs to do. Let the baby sleep whenever parent gets home, or just in the car; feed them whenever they seem hungry, but not necessarily a set time; if groceries need to be gotten, or a trip to the post office is in order, the baby can and will adjust. That is, the child becomes "flexible" so that they are better suited for those days that throw a curveball and the normal nap in the normal place is not possible.  

    Early in my fatherhood experience, I too shared these same grand visions of freely moving about town, running errands, and doing what needed to get done without being a tied to the baby's schedule. I even brought my son to the small law office I was doing some projects for when he was about 3 months old. The 2 attorneys and secretary there loved to see him whenever we needed to drop by to exchange files. One time, I thought maybe, just maybe I could get more done whether it be making some phone calls or drafting some letters, and he would  sleep peacefully for a couple of hours in his carseat.

     Yeah right...it's good to have dreams. 


     Our son had different plans and I was quickly whipped into shape.  It's as if babies exit the womb knowing how to run a schedule boot camp for their parents. From my own experience and also from speaking with others about this, every parent falls into line eventually. Further, it is funny the importance which the schedule takes on for most parents of young children.  For example, I have a nephew that is three months older than our baby. Almost every time I speak with my brother we spend 10 out of the 20 minutes during our conversation talking about how the boys are sleeping and the schedule they are currently on.

     What I have realized is the schedule really is not for the child, but for the parent. Well, maybe that is a little bit too exaggerated but I would say it is for both parent and child. Although the routine changes from time to time, I know with 75% certainty that right now my son will sleep for about 90 minutes in the morning and about 2 hrs + in the afternoon, SO LONG AS I put him in his crib at 9 am and 2 pm. It's not that he's not going to survive if he isn't down then but he's not going to sleep as long. So, if being a devoted schedule follower can mean a consistent 3 1/2 hrs (most days) of quiet time guess where my son is everyday at 9 am and 2 pm.  

     Now, if I could figure out my own schedule. Maybe I ought to take naps at 9:00 and 2:00 too?  Think I'll probably be doing other stuff then...but more on that in a bit. 

Networking at Mother Goose on the Loose?

     So I took my son to the public library this morning.  This was our first trip to this weekly, active storytime and sing-a-long for kids 3 and under where a woman from the library leads nursery rhymes, simple songs, and hand motions that go along with them.  Everybody sits on the floor in a circle, parents too, and has a grand ole time.  I think it will end up being a good trip out for us and the kiddo seemed to enjoy all the action as well as the puppets the woman busted out too.

     There were probably about 12 kids there with an accompanying parent.  I found myself thinking "I bet 11 out of 12 of these young families need a Will and I'm the man for the job!"  The trick is how do I let them know first, that I am an attorney, and second, give them my pitch?  My plan for next week is getting there early, sit right in the middle of where people seemed to concentrate and hopefully have some chit-chat with others.  My son seems to turn on the charm for strangers and I like meeting new people anyway so this will be no great hardship for either of us.  After talking about little Jimmy, Johnny, Jane, Alice, and of course my boy, lots of times the next part of a conversation continues to talking about professions and from my experience, proceeds as follows :

Parent: "Oh, you're an attorney?  What do you practice?"

Me:  "Well, I have a general practice law firm but am trying to focus more on estate planning, wills, etc."

Parent/Potential Client (notice the changed label):  "Oh, interesting.  My spouse and I have been meaning to get a will done but just haven't gotten around to it."

Me:  (As I easily pass a card from my shirt pocket) "Well, even some basic documents in place would be better than nothing at all. Feel free to call the office if you want to talk a little more about it.  Otherwise, maybe we will see you next week at Mother Goose."  

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     Now, I could potentially see people reading my exaggerated model dialogue above and thinking, really?  He's trying to get business at Mother Goose on the Loose?  My response is, why not?

     I know from my own personal experience how easy it is to delay making a Will, and I can do it myself.  Young parents are often the worst about planning their affairs but without a basic plan, especially with kids in the picture, if God forbid something happened to one or both parents, then MA law and the Courts will decide who gets your stuff and more importantly, what happens to your kids.  So, I won't forget my cards next week because I need these parents and they need me, even if they just don't realize it yet.  

Mother Goose on the Loose, here we come! 

Deciding to "Hang a shingle"

     Deciding to open a practice was not an easy decision.  I graduated with honors from law school in May 2010, had had numerous internships, and thought that I had taken all the right steps to find employment and be able to support our family, my pregnant wife and son on the way.  Now I just needed to pass the bar exam, which I ended up doing the first time, and was licensed in Dec. 2010.  Really, I had done the "right" things to get a job but with the economy, coupled with limiting ourselves geographically for family, friends, and my wife's steady employment (remember, baby on the way!) no job came.  I had been searching for full time jobs over a year, beginning in August of 2009, but besides some miscellaneous projects with various attorneys, I did not find anything steady.  Really, there were just not a lot of jobs out there. 

     I began thinking more about creating my own opportunity.  I had always been interested in having my own law practice and "hanging my shingle" as it is commonly referred to.  During law school, I always attended seminars and special presentations on opening a practice, read the books, and thought I might do that "someday" after working for someone else for awhile. Working for a big firm, "Big Law," or anyone for that matter, never happened and I wondered if I could build a small firm from the ground up, and be the boss of "Small Law."  I liked the idea of reaping the awards from my own hard work, while also having the flexibility to be the father and husband I want to be.   

     My wife and I talked a great deal in the spring and early summer, discussing our lifestyle, family, where we really wanted to be, the challenges that might come with opening a business, and if WE could do it.  After some great time and thought we made the call that that "someday" we were waiting for was actually right then, at the beginning of summer.  We decided that we liked the small town where we were living and that this place is where I am going to build my business.  I bought professional malpractice insurance in June.  I rented a small, quite affordable office space in August.  I also invested in some technology, a printer, some software, etc.  We dipped into some savings for this as a leap of faith.  I continue to chip away at some work that I've been graciously given by a mentor.  Now, I just need my own clients.

Introduction

     I'm sitting here in my living room with my 7 1/2 month old son commando crawling around the room. I am still in the clothes I threw on when I rolled out of bed almost 6 hours ago at around 5:45 a.m. I am SO lucky to be here with my happy, healthy, smiley firstborn. I get to be a stay at home Papa. 

     Yet, I find my mind distracted and thinking about starting my business, my law practice. There are so many things to think about and that I need to find time to do, especially because I am just beginning - establishing and understanding technology; getting clients and then staying on top of files; accounting; research; phone calls; emails; and, generally figuring out what I'm doing while finding the time to do what I must to make my office a success. I'm sure it can be rather daunting for the average guy, so I need to be superior. That's because in my start-up business, the daily to-do list also includes feeding meals to my son & clean-up, wiping spit up off my shoulder, changing diapers, playing with blocks, making funny sounds and faces, taking walks, and trying to help out around the house while my AMAZING wife works her stable and secure job as a teacher.

     I hope to use this blog as a forum, and as an outlet, to discuss the many challenges of balancing my responsibilities as a husband and father, with the duties of my chosen profession and and challenges of starting a business. That is, on December 3, 2010, I became an Attorney in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. My license says that on that day, I, after ". . . having taken and subscribed the oaths required by law, was admitted to practice as an Attorney, and, by virtue thereof, as a Counsellor at Law, in any of the Courts of the said Commonwealth." In addition, one and a half months after I was admitted to the bar, I became a Papa, or "Pop" when my son was born. The only certificate I received then was a paper with his name and basic info on it but nothing legalistic that suddenly allowed me to be a father. Instead, I just was. Nor was any addendum attached to the law license or the birth certificate explaining exactly how to succeed in the profession, how to start a law practice, or how to be a great father. Hence, with no directions I am left to figure out how to do all of the above and all at the same time.

     I don't presume to think my posts on this blog will be of great interest to many, or even a few, although I hope that there may be bits of my experience that others can relate to and learn from. I do think that writing in this open journal forum will help me to work through my own thoughts on learning the day-to-day aspects of my profession, starting a business, while being a stay at home "Pop," all at the same time. I would be glad to hear comments, thoughts, and insights as well.

      So, welcome to Pop's Law Firm. We are two strong - me and my growing first-year associate. Hence, we are not "Big Law" but small, both in numbers and also for one of us at least, size.

      And, yes, I did hear that blogging was so 2008, but here we go! :-)